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The Nine Stages Of Being A Mother On Leaving Cert Results Day

The day has finally arrived!

It’s been a long time coming but it’s finally time for the Leaving Certificate results to be released.  Students all over the country will find out their fate this morning, but they’re not the only people who will be on tenterhooks as the mothers of Ireland will be right there with them.  Here are the nine stages of being a mother on Leaving Cert Results Day.

The Sleepless Night

The only person who will be stressing more than a student on the night before the results are released is their mother.  Pacing up and down the landing, saying a few emergency Novenas (even though you haven’t been to Mass since Christmas) and checking that you’ve set the alarm about fifty times… All part of the process.

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The Morning Feed

You don’t want them going in hungry and you’ve been up since 6am so to keep yourself busy, you cook everything in the entire fridge… Only to be greeted by a nervous grumpy teenager who only wants toast and a can of Coke.

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The Worrying Starts

What if they failed Maths?  Maybe you should have paid for more grinds.  They were studying for months.  Surely it will all pay off.  But what if it doesn’t?!

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The Worrying Continues

What if they get their first choice and move across the country?  You want them to be happy, obviously, but parts of the city are awful rough and who’ll be keeping an eye on them?

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The Moment of Truth

The nerves are shot and you haven’t felt this sick since you had a dodgy Chinese from the new place up the road. Regardless, you plaster on a smile and remind them that you’re 100 per cent sure that they’ll do great. You’re so good, you almost convince yourself.

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Crunch Time

The envelope has been opened and they passed everything.  THE RELIEF!  But what does this blur of Bs, Cs and Ds mean and does it add up to the hallowed 400 and something points for Arts at NUI Galway?  Someone get the calculator, quick!

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Pride and Joy

They did it.  That little baby you brought home from the hospital, who stubbornly refused toilet training for six months and clung on to your leg on the first day of school has just passed their Leaving Cert.  Nobody has ever felt as much pride as you, which means it’s time for the tears.

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Ritual Mortification

You might like to think of yourself as the ‘cool Mam’ but as you try to squeeze in another hug before they head off with their mates for the inevitable celebrations, you realise that you’re just the same as all the rest.

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Back to the Worrying

They’ve earned the right to blow off a bit of steam and toast their hard work but it just means another night of worry for you.  Are they going to drink too much?  Who are they out with?  Where are they going?  How are they getting home?

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And let’s not even start on the CAO…

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